Funny BP Gulf of Mexico Disaster Tweets

BP Public Relations...

1. The good news: Mermaids are real. The bad news: They are now extinct.
2. Safety is our primary concern. Well, profits, then safety. Oh, no- profits, image, then safety, but still- it's right up there.
3. Please DO NOT take or clean any oil you find on the beach. That is the property of British Petroleum and we WILL sue you.
4. What a gorgeous day! The ocean is filled with the most beautiful rainbows! #yourewelcome
5. This mess would be a lot easier to clean up if we were allowed to use slaves. #justsayin
6. We're #1! We're #1! We're #1! In your face IXTOC! Biggest Gulf of Mexico spill EVAHHHHH!
7. You didn't hear this from us, but the guys at Shell are terrible racists. #justsayin
8. Now if only we can make a HUGE wedding ring to put on the leak...  That would surely stop it from "putting out".
9. Investing a lot of time & money into cleaning up our image, but the beaches are next on the to-do list for sure.
10. We are not killing animals in the gulf, we are creating fossils in the gulf. Have a little perspective
11. Think locally, act locally- if you don't live near the Gulf of Mexico, get on with your life!