Sunday, August 15, 2010

Funny Bizarre Tweets

Justin Bieber (25F37FZN6GBM)...
  1. Look at your tweet, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn't mine. But if you stopped tweeting about other things, yours could be like mine.
  2. says when life brings ya down, get up, punch it in the face, and yell “I’m Chuck Norris!!”
  3. I think the best thing about always wearing a clean pair of underwear is you're never really out of coffee filters.
  4. You wouldn't think any of my tweets were funny if you knew how many pedestrians I injured while writing them.
  5. remember everyone has a hot cousin...  Find yours now at ancestry.com
  6. If I were God for a day, I'd make Abe Vigoda adopt Dakota Fanning and then laugh at the resulting name. And then go to a strip club.
  7. Clowns aren't scary. One has been staring at me from the cemetery next door, but I can't stop giggling at the balloon chainsaw he's making.
  8. Say what you will about Starbucks, but I like having a place to go where I can be certain I'm not the most pretentious person in the room.
  9. I bet childhood obesity rates in Hidden Valley are completely off the charts.
  10. In our house it really should be called a cooking detector.
  11. Dress to make a statement! For example, a sports jacket & t-shirt says "I'm a hobo who found this jacket in a dumpster."
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