Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Some More Assorted Funny Twitter Status Updates

Darth thinks...

  1. Darth Vader should of been made to pay back-child support for Luke!
  2. Dear 2012, we thought you would have flying cars and robots by now, But congrats anyway on the backwards robes and the rubber bands shaped like animals.Sincerely, 1950
  3. ever ever change your ringtone to an eerie or scary one around halloween because some idiot might call you in the middle of the night while you're in a deep sleep. On a related note, these stains are going to be difficult to get out of the sheets.
  4. Facebook has allowed me to bring my "He's a distraction to the rest of the class" from grade school to a global scale.
  5. Firefighters recently rescued 2 men from an industrial clothes dryer. The men were listed in stable condition but missing one sock
  6. Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat, you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction
  7. Going to dress up as Maury Povich and visit the hospital delivery room telling the guy he is not the father.
  8. Good News: it would be very difficult for someone to break in my house. Bad News: I'm locked out of my house!!
  9. Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
  10. Has decided to write all his statuses in capitals from now on. This one was written in London.