Strange and Funny Twitter Status Update Tweets

Tweet:

1. I like my women the same way I like my coffee: Ground up and stored in the freezer. I MEAN HOT AND STRONG OR SOMETHING.
2. China has blocked Twitter. Now 1.3 billion people will have no idea what I'm having for lunch.
3. Miss England has given up her crown after getting into a bar fight. I think this automatically makes her
4. Wow, my neighbors get horrible cell reception under their bed
5. Obama says he doesn't tweet because his thumbs are too clumsy. Which is a polite way of saying he has a real job.
6. We hate what we do not understand. I'm not really sure what that phrase means, but it's stupid!
7. I hope Lady Gaga donates her old costumes to homeless shelters. Because that would be hilarious.
8. Parenting Tip: The new Twilight movie provides an excellent two-hour window for reading your daughter's journal.
9. Marching bands are actually homeless orchestras. Tragic, really.
10. A Florida woman gave birth to a baby 9 days early at 9:09 in the morning on 9-9-09. But, get this, 8 lbs. 4 oz. LAME.